Being there through an assessment

Someone close to you has decided to be assessed for ADHD. Maybe the appointment is booked. Maybe it’s still a way off. Either way, you might be wondering what happens, and where you fit in.

The short answer is: wherever they’d like you to. This piece covers what an adult assessment usually involves, how you might help if you’re asked, and what’s theirs to decide.

What an assessment involves

Every service runs things a little differently. But the main parts come up again and again in guidance from the NHS, NICE and NIMH.

It’s mostly a conversation. The NHS describes the appointment as being with an ADHD specialist, such as a psychiatrist. The specialist will ask about the history of their symptoms, particularly if they started when they were a child, and how they affected them at school.

NICE guidance describes a full clinical and psychosocial assessment, including discussion about behavior and symptoms in the different settings of everyday life, and a full developmental and psychiatric history.

There may be questionnaires too. NIMH lists clinical interviews and behavior rating scales among the things a provider may ask someone to do. MedlinePlus puts it simply: there is no single test to diagnose ADHD.

The assessment looks at the whole person. NIMH says people may be asked about their mood and current and past medical conditions, to rule out other explanations.

Where you might come in

Guidance often looks beyond the person’s own account. The NHS says the specialist may want to contact someone who knows them well, such as a family member or close friend. NIMH names a partner, family members and friends among the people a provider may ask to talk to, to learn about behavior in different situations and during childhood.

CHADD, a US ADHD charity, notes that many professionals ask the person to identify a spouse or other family member who can take part in parts of the evaluation. Sometimes a loved one is given a rating scale to fill in too.

That isn’t about doubting them. CHADD says it isn’t to question the person’s honesty, but to gather more information.

If you didn’t know them as a child, that’s fine. You can only speak to what you’ve seen.

If they ask for your help

Whether you’re involved, and how, is up to them. Some people want a second memory in the room. Some would rather do it alone. Both are fine, and it’s worth asking rather than assuming.

If they do want your help, a few things can make it easier.

Think in real moments. If they ask what you’ve noticed, a moment you both remember is easier to talk about than a general impression: the morning the keys turned up in the fridge, or the evening a quick job turned into four hours.

Describe what you saw, not what you think it means. You’re there to share what you’ve noticed, in your own words. Making sense of it is the specialist’s job.

Let them see it first. If they’d like your examples written down, show them before anything goes anywhere.

Offer to come along. NIMH says it can help to bring a close friend or relative to an appointment. A companion can be there for support, help take notes and remember what was discussed. Offer, and let them decide.

It’s their story. You’re there to help tell it, if they want you to.

Afterwards

If they’re diagnosed, the NHS says the specialist will talk about what this means and what will happen next, including what help and support may be available. If they’re not, NICE guidance says people whose symptoms fall short of an ADHD diagnosis may benefit from similar information, such as where to find support groups.

Either way, it can bring up a lot. In a 2026 review of studies of adults diagnosed later in life, over half of the studies described people feeling relief. Some also described grief for their old pre-diagnosis self. The review found adjustment was individual and not linear. There’s no right way, or right speed, to feel about it.

You might have feelings about it too. That’s allowed, and they can sit alongside theirs. If things feel very heavy, for them or for you, the support lines in Settings → Help are there any time.

Their decisions

What happens next is theirs to decide with their clinician. NICE guidance asks clinicians to record the person’s preferences and concerns in their treatment plan. It also says to ask adults with ADHD whether they’d like a partner, close friend or carer to join discussions about treatment, and to reassure people they can revisit decisions about treatments.

So if you’re invited in, you’re there to listen and support. If you’re not, that’s their choice too. You can share how you feel. The decisions are still theirs.

Whatever the outcome, being someone they can talk to doesn’t depend on a result.

General information, not medical advice. Talk to your prescriber or doctor about your own treatment. How we write

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