Describing your ADHD in everyday examples

Put on the spot, it’s easy to reach for labels: forgetful, messy, always late. They might be true, but they don’t show anyone what your days are actually like. Everyday examples do.

This piece is about why examples help at an ADHD assessment, and how to write ones that say what you mean.

Why examples help

An assessment looks at how things show up in real life. NICE guidance describes discussion about behavior and symptoms in the different settings of a person’s everyday life.

It also looks at how much they get in the way. NIMH explains that many people show some of these behaviors some of the time. For adults with ADHD, they are more severe, frequent and persistent, and they interfere with daily life across different situations.

A label like “I’m forgetful” can’t show any of that. An example, with how often it happens and what it led to, can.

NIMH’s tips for talking with a health care provider make the same point: be specific about when things started, how severe they are and how often they happen.

A moment, not a label

A good example is a moment you could picture. “Missed the train because I lost my keys again” says more than “I’m disorganized”.

Three things make an example useful: what happened, roughly how often it happens, and what it cost you. The cost might be money, time, sleep, a job, a friendship, or how you felt about yourself afterwards.

So instead of “I’m bad with money”, you might write: “Paid a late fee because the bill sat unopened in a drawer for a month. Happens most months.” Instead of “I can’t finish things”, you might write: “Started cleaning the kitchen, ended up sorting a cupboard, and the dishes were still there at midnight. Most weekends.”

If you’re not sure how often, a rough guess is fine: rarely, sometimes, often, most days. Trace asks the same way, because exact counts are hard to keep.

You don’t need dramatic stories. Small things that happen often can say as much as one big one.

Describe a moment, not a label.

From all over your life

The NHS says the assessment focuses on different areas of your life, including work and education, family and friends, and medical history. NIMH describes ADHD as making it hard to function in at least two areas of life, such as at home, school or work.

So it helps to have examples from more than one place: work or study, home, money, relationships, friends and family, getting around, and looking after yourself.

If you’re stuck, walk through an ordinary week in your head. Getting up, getting out of the door, the working day, meals, messages, money, evenings, bedtime. Where does the day tend to go sideways, and what happens next?

Childhood memories count too. The NHS says the specialist will ask about the history of your symptoms, particularly if they started when you were a child, and how they affected you at school. The comment that turned up on every school report is an example. So is the homework that never made it home.

If your memories are patchy, someone else may remember. NIMH says providers may ask to talk to people who know you well, such as a partner, family members and friends.

Keeping them honest

Writing down things you’ve spent years covering up can feel exposing. CHADD, a US ADHD charity, notes that many adults with ADHD can feel frustrated and embarrassed by long-running problems, and says it’s important to talk about them openly and honestly, rather than hold back out of shame.

Memories fade, and it’s easy to play things down. Notes written close to the moment help with both, before a moment blurs into “I’m always like this”.

Describe things as they are, not worse and not better. You don’t have to make it sound dramatic to be taken seriously, or tidy it up to seem fine. If you’ve built workarounds, like five alarms or a note on the front door, write those down as well. They show what it takes to keep things going.

In Trace, tap Example on Today to save one. Pick the area of life, say what happened and how often it happens, and star the ones you want in your report. The “For your assessment” report groups them by area, ready to take with you.

General information, not medical advice. Talk to your prescriber or doctor about your own treatment. How we write

Spot a mistake? Write to us at hello@trace-adhd.com